Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

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When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What is the best way to get my wife to become a hotwife?

I have a reading level above third grade

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I can count

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why do narcissist move on so easily?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

What methods do private investigators use to investigate someone in real life?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why is my crush beautiful to me but not to others?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

How do you cope when your mother doesn't love you?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I see through liars

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

European Mars orbiter spies crumbling crater 'soaked in layers of Martian history' (photo) - Space

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

How do people move on so quickly? I’m still sprung over someone I was dating and he found someone else so fast. I feel hurt because I’m still head over heels over him while he’s out enjoying his life with someone new

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What are the logical reasons against requiring an ID to vote in the USA? If the government offered to provide IDs for this purpose I fail to see why people are against it.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Jim Cramer says these hot new stocks are ones to watch - TheStreet

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I can read

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I actually pay taxes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”